How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 03:57

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

Artists get better with age, e.g., painting. Yet when it comes to pop music, the famous work tends to be written when musicians are in their twenties. So, why aren't Bob Dylan or the Stones banging out amazing tunes now?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

I am 11 years old and I think I am going through puberty. Why do my nipples hurt when I touch them? Is it normal?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By taking turns talking.